The Pursuit of Happiness

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
- Martha Washington 

What do we require in life? I believe that the only thing we should strive for in this life of ours is happiness.  Do we require money to be happy? Do we require health? Or do we require sex to be happy? Yes money, health and sex are pre-requisite to be happy. But are these enough? Ask a person in the streets as to what he wants to be happy in life. And he may tell you its food. Ask some student and he may tell you that he will be happy when he gets 90+ marks in his exams. It’s so confusing. But the question seemed simple. Your definition for happiness and what do we require for being happy?

In my school days, if I was asked the same question, I would have answered that I require 85+ marks to be happy. Then I went to Manipal for my engineering. And this period actually transformed me to a great extent. But the unquenchable desire for marks never left me. From 7.35 to 9.6 GPA, I progressed because of my hard work. And the coincidence is that I was the happiest during that period. So does this mean that excellence is the key to happiness? The day I had left college, there is an urge to do my MBA. I have already written two CATs after that. I sometimes feel guilty of having left education after my engineering days, just to work for some money. And I can bet you that money has not made be happy. Mind you, it’s not bad money. But still, money is not the answer. 

Sometimes I wonder after looking at the big apartments in Nagpur, whether I will ever be able to buy one of them. Property rates in Nagpur are already sky high. Having born in a middle class family with just enough to meet the monthly requirements doesn’t help. But I am sure that being the owner of a flat/apartment doesn’t make you the happiest man on earth. Had it been true, Mukesh Ambani would have been the happiest man on earth. I am not saying that Ambani called me and was sobbing on the phone while talking to me.  I am just saying that there is something else which one requires for being happy. All our lives, we just revolve about this one thing, Happiness.

I guess the answer to the question I ask is a good social life. I am not talking about the kitty parties which the rich class thrown to show off. I am talking about the real friends. Having friends around you is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. When you can talk your heart out to that person, it feels immensely satisfactory. I had been to Bhopal in the months of January and February this year. And I believe that it was one of the happier times. It was because I had something after my job to look forward to. I had a social life. I had a separate identity. The group discussions at Career Launcher, Bhopal gave me something to look forward to after 6pm. And I loved it. So we need to find that activity that we actually love doing. There is nothing wrong in trying. After all, this is the only one life we have got!!

 “Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder ...” - Henry David Thoreau

The MBA race

 

It has been a long time since my last blog post. I mean more than 2.5 years have gone by. In these 2 years, I have met some of the best people (academically and human behavior). Life these days has become lot complex than it was 2 years back. When I look back, I find that the Manipal days were the best period of my life. “The summer of 69 by Bryan Adams” incidentally the Manipal song was true. It was indeed the best days of my life, though back then I didn’t realize its value.

Coming back to today, I am still waiting for IIM Rohtak to call me for their PGDM course. It actually takes a lot of mental and emotional effort to get admissions into the brand IIM. The day I got 98.27 percentile in CAT 2011, I was more than happy. Little did I know that this percentile was not enough for admissions into the 6 old IIMS? IIM Shillong has a requirement of its own, i.e. 84.3 % in engineering. These things make life a lot more complex. I have calls from the 6 “new IIIMS”. Let’s see how things work out.

In case I do not manage to make it this year, I have to start everything from scratch. Practice is the key to cracking any management level entrance exams. And I will do it. I will put in whatever it takes. Sometimes I wonder, “Do I actually require an MBA?”  I mean anyone who is a little serious about CAT, would have surely thought about this question.  I am working for Ashok Leyland, the 2^nd largest commercial vehicle maker. The company is paying me well, and the pay is about to get better in June. But is pay, the most important thing in life?  Probably the answer is no. I have a desire to be very well educated. During my engineering, I started liking studies for the first time in my life. It is just that I think I am interested in finance. I don’t know for sure. Sometimes I wish I would have taken commerce in my bachelors’ degree. Life was a rat race then and it surely has not changed much. 

HEAVEN ON EARTH

Hi, this is Abhishek. It's quite some time since I wrote my last blog, and that was about 8 months before. Before I begin my story, let me describe the house I am staying in Faridabad. I live on the 1st floor of the two floor house. Each floor has three rooms, two of which had attached bathroom. It has a kitchen, a dinning room, a drawing room and a balcony, everything you can see in a normal house. By average standards, I am living in a posh location and was living alone in a three bedroom floor. And that's just due to the benevolence of Malik Sir that I got that place.

Let me describe him for you. Without this, the story will probably be incomplete. O.P.Malik Sir, was the director at the University Grants Commission (UGC). He is 72 now, and had retired a decade ago. He was an eloquent speaker, the best I had seen till now. He could easily beat the professors of our college. He had visited almost all countries in the world. He was blessed with two sons and a daughter. Both of his sons are in Civil service.Let me remind that civil services are the toughest and most difficult exam of India, where more than three lakhs applicants sit for less than a thousand seats. Both of them are not in India currently.At present on foreign service One is in Singapore and the other in U.S. Malik sir's daughter is a medical doctor. She is married to a very wealthy medical doctor in Faridabad. The house which she lives in, is a very huge one almost 1200 sq. yards area with lots og garden and landscaping. Malik sir's wife is Kanta mam. She is about 69 years of age. She had been the principal of a girl's school in Delhi. Of course, she is retired too. She is an amazon, yet she is so affable and gregarious. At 69, she could still give a woman in her 30's, a run for her money. She is the most well educated lady I have known and seen so closely. I truly admire this family. If I could become even like any one member of this family, I can easily say that I have been successful in life.
I wish them good health and happiness in life and both of them in turn feel the same way for me and my familly.

my bachelor life coming to an end ......

It has been about seven months, since I wrote my last article. During this period, there have been quite a lot of changes going within me. This period of seven months was quite blissful, giving very productive results. I learned to prioritize my time properly. It takes quite some time for building up some good habits. The trips to Manassa water park, the Karwar trip and the heavenly trip of Coorg has certainly made me more affable and gregarious. I tried my hand at acting and dancing as well. I can vividly recall the night of my friend’s birthday party. I had partied and danced till my breath and my body allowed me. Lots of unprecedented things happened, which I will always relish.
I was on my way to the L&T Company, where I am currently undergoing my training. I was just pondering over the events that have made me what I am. Suddenly I realized that my bachelor life was about to be over. I will soon become an “engineer”, a respectable person in the society. Ever since I could remember, I was told, “ padh likh le. Bada aadmi ban ja. Saab tere ko abhishek babu bolenge.”(Read well, and become a respectable citizen of the society.) I always wanted to be rich but I never had the inclination towards studies. There have been numerous times, when I was reproached for not doing my studies properly. I was rebuked for not being sincere in my class. This punitive action, made me hate it even more. If I could recede, and change this one thing, I would love to do it, not just for the sake of it.
With the blink of an eye, twenty one years have passed. The time when my mother used to teach me A B C……., to the time when our professor taught us the technical aspects, it has been a long journey. For some, the journey has just begun. But for me, it is like an end of an era. But the problem is, I don’t want it to end so soon. I want to study more. I want to do my masters in management (read MBA), and go even to the doctorate level. If it were possible, that through out my life, my father could fund my education, and I just required doing my studies, I would surely grab this opportunity with both hands. But alas! I cannot keep living in an imaginary world of my own. I have to grow up. Sometimes I feel that though the physical transformation from a teenage boy to a man has been there, I still lack that mental growth, the one that comes with age. Quite often, I feel so happy, as if I am still in my childhood days, nothing to worry about, all the care taken by my parents.
But, with the advent of my earning days, times will change drastically. The whole process will again repeat itself. My father will take place of my grandfather, and my place will be taken by my child. The whole generation will take a leap forward. I will be supposed to act more responsibly, and work for an organization. I will have to take care of my family, my parents. Soon, I will have to sacrifice my wishes for my family, as my parents always did for me. But I used to be the one that gets everything!! How can this right be taken away from me suddenly? I wish I could capture time and hold it in my palm very tightly. I just wish, I could always enjoy life as I am doing now, always be youthful, and always have ample means to fulfill the unlimited desires of my heart.
Signing off
Abhishek

The days after class ten results were out.......

“There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.”

The most awaited period of my life till now was the declaration of class ten results. After about two months of anxiety and excitement, the results were declared. I had got 87%. It was average marks comparing to what I have seen in Manipal today. Most of the people, here have got more than 90% in their 10th standard. But, those days I felt as if I had conquered the world. My father was happy, and more importantly I was happy. I felt as if there was nothing more to do in life. I had got more than most of my friends. I had gone crazy. I was proud of myself. I mean, proud in the superlative degree. I felt as if people who got below 75%, not worth talking. People, who are offended by my last statement, are not supposed to, because today, even I am one of them. I don’t feel the same way any more.

But back then, it was different. I thought whatever I do now, my parents wouldn’t scold me. I thought I belonged to the elite class, which is so not true. The admissions for class 11 opened up in our school. I knew I would easily make it to the merit list. And I finally did. But just making it to the merit list doesn’t guarantee you an admission in the school. For that, you got to pay up the admission fees to the school authorities to confirm your admission. This very basic fact I never knew or may be overlooked, or ignored. I had got 87% and that was it. I had started my tuitions for class eleven. One day, on my way to the tuitions, I met one of the principal or father as we say in the convent schools. He asked me whether I had taken admissions in the school. I simply said that my name had appeared in the merit list, thus I got admissions. He explained to me the facts.

I went back home. The date for admissions had already passed. It was three days since the admissions got over. Now, I have 87%, with no admissions for further studies, and most of the schools had finished their admission procedure. I went to the principal the very next day along with my mother. The first reply I got was to leave, as the school authorities had finished their admissions. In simple words, there was no place for me in my school “St. Paul’s”, which was my second home for the last eight years.

In one of the other schools I had applied, I was not even considered for admissions. That was the time I came to know, that I was mediocre in academics, or may be just good. It was then I realized that I don’t belong to the elite class. I finally got admissions in St. Paul’s school, my school, after crying and begging in front of the principal. It took three days to convince the principal, after which he granted me admissions.

The thing I wanted to point out is, we crave for success, and one day when we finally get that, most of us don’t know how to handle it. We got to learn it from Mahendra Singh Dhoni, whom I truly admire. He is presently the Indian captain and the highest earner in the IPL. It will take me probably my lifetime to earn Six Crores. He is still so humble, his feet staying right on ground. As a proverb says, “success is a journey, not a destination.” You may be successful now, but who knows, what will happen tomorrow. So, always stay humble, polite and grateful like Dhoni……

“Try not to be a man of success, but rather to be a man of value.”

A walk back home........

MANIPAL

"Intelligence is the ability to articulate one's stupidity."

Last article, which I wrote was a bit motivational. But what, I am about to write, is about one of the very few weird and stupid thing I have done in my life. It happened when I was in class four. It suddenly struck to me one day that cycling is good for one’s health. I had observed that a lot of my friends were coming to school on a cycle. The point to note here is that I was around nine years in age then.

My house was about seven kilometer from my school. So by normal standards, I feel today that any parent would not have allowed. I had been going by bus till then. I told my mother to buy me one cycle. ‘Cycle’ was present in the last article as well. Looking back, I feel that my past wouldn’t have existed without a cycle. Even today, when I go back home, I ride my cycle. So coming back, when I presented my idea of going to school on a cycle, my mother just laughed. I felt insulted. This was the first time I had thought something of my own. My mother, I felt was making a mockery out of me. I asked” what’s there to laugh about? My friends go to school on a cycle, why can’t I?” The reply my mother gave me tempted me to do what I had done some twelve years back. She said “you don’t know the way back home. Even if I get you a cycle, it will take you ages to reach back home in a cycle”.

The reply which she gave me was enough to ignite my hidden desires. I wanted to prove to my mother a point. I thought that I was already a grown up. Let me admit here that I was scared of my father. I looked for an opportunity to make this desire come true. My father went out of station one day. I knew that this was my opportunity to prove my mother wrong. I went to school, by bus. I waited till the last period to end. Time passed by. The bell rang. I ran out of the school. My school bus was waiting outside the school. But who cared about the bus. The idea was to walk back home. I started my journey. After about ten minutes, my bus passed by. I waved my hand to my bus mates. And I continued my walk…..

After about forty minutes, my legs started feeling the heat. The legs of a nine year old boy had walked half the distance. The other half was still left. I somehow made sure that I was on the right path. Sweat started dripping down my face. It was about 4.35 pm in the afternoon. It was hot. I felt my pockets. It was empty. I stopped, searched my bag for five bucks to take an auto. I somewhere felt that my mother was right. I wanted to quit. But alas! I had no money. I somehow continued walking. After walking for another two kilometer, my legs started shaking. What else do you expect of a nine year old boy? I fell down. I felt as if I was about to die. I knew it would n't take me more that fifteen minutes to reach my home and say sorry to my mother. With little strength left, I continued. I fell numerous times on my way. At last my house was visible to my eyesight. I could see my mother standing on the veranda. She seemed so worried. I saw my tuition teacher climbing the stairs. She asked me” did I come an hour early?”I just laughed. It was 5.15pm on the watch. it took me around 75 minutes to walk all the distance. I told my mother that I had proved her wrong. She started crying. She felt during the last one hour that she had lost me.

I may have told that I had won, but the truth was that I had lost. I had put on a false smile and an ego. I really felt bad for my mother. It appeared to me now that I had been a very naughty child. The feelings, the anxiety and later the smile on my mother’s face said it all to me……

This, I feel was one of the few stupid incidents of my life. The extent I went to prove that I was right. But I achieved nothing out of it. I lacked common sense then. Even today, I some time feel that I have a shortage………

C Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.nse is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be don

What is life ?

 “There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”

                          One incident in my life needs a special mention here. This incident I am about to write, has changed me and evolved me into a better person. My second sessionals were in about four days. I used to be crazy about a chocolate called Cadbury Nutties. I still remember the date, day and the time. It was around 7.00 pm on Thursday on 25^th of October, 2007. I had searched for Nutties, in like four nearby stores. Unfortunately I was sad as I couldn’t find. You can imagine how crazy I was that I borrowed a cycle, Hero Hawk from a friend of mine. I was on my way to a store about a kilometer from my hostel. I wasn’t finding very comfortable to ride that cycle, but I didn’t care. I was going to get Nutties.

Suddenly my cycle lost its balance. I fell down. People gathered around me. Poor me, I was more concerned to check if my specks were intact or not! People were telling me to go to a hospital. I got my specks and when I touched my face I saw blood coming out of my forehead in large volume. I kept my cycle in a store. I went to the hospital. After some time they said I needed stitches. I was scared. I felt some pain in my hand. I told them to also get me some pain killer for my right hand as it was under a bit of pain. They told that they needed to do get an X- ray done. They first did my stitches on my forehead. Then, they got my X- ray done. Till then, my friend saurav and srikant came to the hospital. Within five minutes of the X-ray, they told me that I had broken my hand. I had broken a cashew shaped bone called scaphoid bone. By then Rajiv and Saiganesh visited me in the hospital.

 The doctor told me it would take at least 10 weeks to heal and I needed to get my hand plastered. I was really shocked. I had just played counter- strike and was about to get myself a chocolate, but suddenly I have landed in a hospital with a broken hand. That’s life! The uncertainty factor is always there. It’s like at one moment you are the king and the very next moment you are seen asking for money. That’s life. Every moment is unexpected. Especially, when you are n’t expecting it.!I called my father.  There was no other option but to get my right hand plastered. That was the moment; when I thought I would really faint. I had my exams in four days! My right hand was broken which means that I wouldn’t be able to write my exams. I got my hands plastered, got my forehead stitched. My friends took me back to my room. I narrated this story for like twenty times to my friends who had come to see me. I got a lot of sympathy then.

But the real problem was still unsolved. What about my sessionals? I went to the director. He allowed swarup to write my exams. I would be dictating the answers and he would be writing. He is from a different branch. He wrote all the papers for the second sessionals. It was impossible for me to learn the diagrams. Being in mechanical we had to memorize a lot of diagrams. He stayed up till 2 am at night to memorize my diagrams. I would like to mention that it was very kind of him to have done so much for me. I sometimes feel that I have been blessed with some of very good friends. They have done so much for me. I take this opportunity to thank all my friends, for being there always for me, whenever I needed them.

Life has its ups and downs. You need to have the courage to face it from the front. There is always a way out. There will always be someone to help you. You need to seek help. There is no point in getting discouraged and crying. Make your way out. And be grateful. Grateful, to the numerous people who have helped you in your life.

 “Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more.”